C is for Connection (and cookies)

I went to the dentist this morning and walked out with a root canal. As I'm writing this, my bottom lip feels fat, my left cheek is completely numb, and I can't feel my tongue. 

And also, I'm eating a cookie.

There are so many things wrong with this scenario, not the least of which is the fact that I really shouldn't be eating cookies. But it's a great illustration of what's on my mind today--which is self-connection, or rather, the lack thereof.

I began dissociating as a very young child. Most of my memories, especially those before the age of 40, are all viewed in my mind's eye as if I am floating above my head...which I probably was. I've always struggled with being present in the moment. And to be honest, I still do. It's something I work on constantly. 

None of this is surprising given the amount of trauma I've endured. 

Traumatic events leave powerful imprints on the mind and body. When trauma occurs, our brains literally have the power to shut off the connection to our own feelings. It's how we protect ourselves from experiencing the pain of the moment. Disconnecting, or disassociating allows us to escape--and ultimately, helps us survive. 

But continued dissociation can have a negative impact on the quality of life for survivors of trauma. (I know, it sounds obvious, but stay with me!) Disconnection doesn't just cause issues with relationships...which is the thing that seems most obvious. It also causes issues with connecting to yourself--a concept that's imperative if you want to foster self-awareness, self-respect, self-compassion, self-love...and anything else related to SELF!

The tragedy of religious programming is that it disconnects you from yourself. It causes you to question your ability to make decisions without input from an authority. It causes you to feel bad about personal preferences that are not approved by your religion (think tattoos and double piercings). It causes you to see your body and its desires as evil. It even keeps you from understanding your intrinsic value and inherent worth. 

The underlying belief in religious conditioning is that you are not good enough and never will be. 

But I'm here to tell you that all of that is a lie. 

And the truth is this:

YOU ARE PERFECT, EXACTLY THE WAY YOU ARE TODAY.

What if that's the truth? What if everything about you is already whole and complete? What if you have everything you need to accomplish whatever you desire in this life? How might those beliefs support your desire to be connected to you?

When I talk about this concept, there's invariably someone out there who wants to argue. Who says something like, "I'm not perfect...look at all of this proof I have." 

And I get it. That's simply not the way we're taught to see ourselves. 

But just for a minute, open yourself up to the idea that you might be perfect, exactly the way you are. If you believed that to be true, what would change? What doors might open up for you? What would you be willing to do differently? How would your life be enhanced by your own perfection?

Now, take all of those answers, and believe.

Because who's to say that it's not true! 

You get to choose what you're going to believe about yourself and everyone around you. When you stop to think about it, that's an astronomical amount of power. Just believe that it's true...and it probably is. What's stopping you?

I know what's stopping me...self-connection. That's why I'm always working on being connected and present in the moment. Because I really believe that if we could connect to ourselves on a deep level, we'd be in awe of our own abilities and power. That's one of my goals for the new year. Wanna join me?

Let's make 2023 the year of embracing perfection!

Make it a rainbow day!