Self-care is about more than manicures and bubble baths. It’s the way you see yourself, talk to yourself, treat yourself, and the dreams you create for your life. Here are 15 truths about self-care we all need to remember.
1. You are enough–just because you’re here.
Many of us have this belief that we are here on earth to earn or prove our worth. We chase after things–a successful career, a large home, a certain weight, a competitive income–to show everyone around us that we are, in fact, valuable, and therefore, worthy. But here’s the thing:
YOU WERE BORN ENOUGH.
Your worth is innate. You are an eternal being of divine origins and you can never be anything less.
Your purpose is not to prove yourself worthy, it’s to learn to be human–to live fully, love deeply, and create a life that matters. When you quit trying to prove yourself, you just might discover that you’re already exactly the person you are supposed to be. Then you can focus on laughing, learning, expressing yourself, and rising above the constructs of this existence to create your biggest dreams.
SO GO AHEAD AND ACCEPT THE TRUTH THAT YOU’RE ENOUGH BECAUSE IT WAS PROVEN THE DAY YOU WERE BORN.
2. Comparison is the killer of joy.
The whole point of life is to discover who you are and to become that unique, one-of-a-kind human.
COMPARISON IS THE KILLER OF JOY AND MISSES THE WHOLE POINT OF OUR EXISTENCE!
When we compare, we fail to recognize our gifts, passions, quirks, talents and distinctive features. Comparison focuses on the strengths of others and the weaknesses we see in ourselves. And it throws us out of alignment with the truth.
That each one of us is special–incomparable.
Every human is valuable in their own way. We sparkle and shine in unique ways–like a handful of jewels. The deep green of an emerald doesn’t diminish the beauty of a sapphire, the intensity of a ruby, or the sparkle of a diamond. The presence of each stone simply adds to the value as a whole. So be the best jewel you can be and stop comparing yourself to others!
3. Your past does not define you.
One of my favorite principles for living is this:
Each moment determines who you are and allows you to decide if that’s who you want to become.
In any given moment, you are changing. It’s the one constant in life. And you can choose to be a willing participant in that change–or not. But either way, every minute of your life is different. Your cells are regenerating. You’re breathing different air. You are constantly learning and growing. You’re wiser because of your experiences.
In other words, you are a completely different person than you were yesterday. In fact, you’re a completely different person than you were a few minutes ago, not to mention a few years ago! You are never the same!
The philosopher Heraclitus once said: “You never bathe in the same river twice, because it’s never the same river and it’s never the same you.”
When you understand this, you can begin to see that your past does not have to define you. You are free to let go of the past and become the person you desire to be.
BECAUSE IN EVERY MOMENT, YOU ARE A NEW PERSON.
Take advantage of that fact and make a conscious decision about who you want to become–then work toward your destiny!
4. Focusing on your strengths will cause them to flourish!
The Law of Attraction states that you get more of what you focus on. That’s why it’s important to focus on your strengths and gifts rather than your challenges and imperfections. When you focus on what you do well, you create more of that–and you draw good things into your life.
Someone wise once told me to replace self-criticism with praise and acknowledgment for all the things I was doing right. Not only did my confidence start to flourish, but I began to see the potential I had within me.
PEOPLE RESPOND BEST TO LOVE AND COMPASSION–NOT JUDGMENT!
That’s especially true if it’s coming from inside of you. So love yourself. Nourish your growth, and watch as you blossom into your full potential!
5. Understanding your gaps will allow you to grow intentionally
Although focusing on strengths will help you learn and grow as you develop them further, understanding the areas where there are gaps will allow you to learn and grow intentionally.
Some people have natural talents that develop over time with little to no effort. There are musicians that rarely practice. Ballplayers that seem to have come out of the womb making baskets. Financial advisors that just have a knack for handling money. And people in every area of life that rise to the top naturally. But that’s rare. Most of us work hard at becoming good at the things we do. And that’s okay. In fact, it’s how it’s supposed to be.
So as you focus on your strengths, also look for the areas where you struggle, and make some intentional goals to close your gaps!
6. You are not your gremlin.
Do you remember the 1980’s movie entitled, “Gremlins”? It’s about these little monsters that hide in dark corners and wreak havoc for the humans in their lives.
Gremlins are also little voices in our head that tell us we’re not enough–not smart enough, not educated enough, not thin enough, not pretty enough, not happy enough, not good enough–period. This voice can wreak havoc in our lives, much like the Gremlins in the movie.
But here’s the thing–you don’t have to be defined by that voice. It’s not you. It’s just the riff-raff left over from all the negative voices you’ve heard throughout your life. You can choose to believe it. You can choose to allow it in. Or you can dismiss it.
The good news is that you are in charge of you. You don’t have to believe the thoughts that pop into your head. They come and go–and you get to decide what will stay.
TODAY, CHOOSE TO GET RID OF THE GREMLIN IN YOUR HEAD BY INVITING THE NEGATIVE VOICE TO LEAVE.
You’ll be glad you did!
7. Empowering self-talk creates an empowering you!
Along with inviting your Gremlin to leave, you can replace its voice with positive, empowering thoughts, instead. It’s really up to you what you allow into your head.
Why does it matter? The things you say to yourself matter because YOU are listening to it! It has a major impact on the way you think and feel about yourself. And since our thoughts govern our feelings, and our feelings lead to our actions, and our actions create the results we get in our lives, it’s pretty important to find empowering thoughts to use as self-talk.
START TODAY TO CULTIVATE SUPPORTIVE AND EMPOWERING SELF-TALK.
Your self-talk matters because the most important person in your life is listening to it–YOU! As Oprah once said: “Create the highest grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe”.
8. Self-love is critical for emotional stability.
Just as you have kindness and compassion for other people, you deserve to have kindness and compassion for yourself. When you begin to understand how critical self-love is for emotional stability, it makes it much easier to focus on being kind to yourself.
Think about your best friend. When she is struggling, do you beat her down, tell her how awful she is, then follow it up with a physical cut-down?
Of course not! You increase your love and compassion to let her know she’s not alone. Maybe you should try the same thing when you are struggling, too You deserve your own self-love and compassion.
When you feel less than your best, instead of beating yourself up with frustration, anger, and judgment, try to respond with love and comfort instead. Be there for yourself like you would be for a friend in need. Because chances are, you need your self-love more than you need the love of anyone outside of you!
9. Your body is not your masterpiece.
I heard this statement several years ago and it has stayed with me ever since. Your body is a precious temple for your soul, but it’s not your masterpiece. Instead, it’s a tool you get to use to create the masterpiece that is your life. Stop trying so hard to keep your body in perfect condition. Stop beating yourself up for every pound you gain or every candy bar you eat. Stop making yourself feel like a second-class citizen because you can’t fit into last years swimsuit. Instead, recognize your body as an amazing gift that allows you to participate in adventures on the earth–to dance, play, love, create, and be.
Instead of focusing on your imperfect body, consider this:
PERHAPS YOUR BODY IS EXACTLY THE WAY IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE TO SERVE YOU AND GIVE YOU THE BEST LIFE POSSIBLE!
So treat it with respect. Nourish it. Love it. Appreciate it. But stop obsessing over it and focus on making a masterpiece out of your life!
10. You’ll never be liked by everyone–so stop trying.
There are billions of people in the world who all think differently. This means that potentially, there are billions of possible opinions about you. You can’t live up to the standards of every single person out there.
Also, everyone is viewing the world through their own unique lens that’s been colored by their past, their present, their decisions, even their DNA. No matter what is happening around you, the only opinion that really matters is your own. And maybe your family. But even that’s questionable.
Instead of seeking approval from others so you can start to feel like enough, do yourself the favor of approving of yourself! When you accept yourself, you no longer rely on the opinions and acceptance of others because you already know that you are enough.
And that’s all that really matters!
11. You can reach your dreams.
Your dreams and desires are yours for a reason. They are the things that only you can experience–only you can do. Sure, other people might be able to do something similar, but your uniqueness qualifies you to reach your dreams in your own unique way. You can trust them and feel worthy of them because you are inherently worthy of life, love, and happiness.
So think hard about your dreams. Allow yourself to plan and prepare for that day when you reach them. Learn to trust yourself and your desires and start feeling good about who you are. Then go for it!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN FULFILL YOUR DREAMS IN EXACTLY YOUR WAY.
Decide today that you won’t fail because you didn’t try!
12. Loving yourself first is the key to good relationships.
If you’re waiting for everything to fall into place before you take the time to love yourself, you’re living life backwards!
DON’T MAKE THE MISTAKE OF PUTTING OFF SELF-LOVE UNTIL SOME DISTANT DAY IN THE FUTURE!
Sometimes, we think that finding a partner will make us love ourselves more. Sometimes, it’s the perfect job or the newborn baby or the bigger bank balance or the number on the scale. When those things happen, then I’ll love myself.
The truth is that it will never happen if you put it off until tomorrow. The world is just a reflection of you, so if you really want to have wonderful, fulfilling relationships, it’s a mistake to put off self-love to someday in the future.
Want love? You have to love yourself first.
Want success? You have to recognize your worth and celebrate the little successes each day.
When you accept yourself first, then everything else can fall into place.
13. You are already perfect.
Many people are chasing perfection like it’s a thing they can put on.
IN REALITY, YOU ARE ALREADY PERFECT. WE ALL ARE.
You see, we are divine. Our lives were not meant to be a place where we chase perfection because our nature is perfect, just the way it is. We are living life exactly the way we are supposed to live it. And when we consider that the purpose of life is to be human–then things begin to fall into place.
You are a human with challenges and difficulties to bear. You are also an amazing being with pure love at your core. You might do yoga, hold a master’s degree, eat healthy foods, run a business, and keep an immaculate house. You might also spend too much time on social media, procrastinate, judge yourself, wear dirty clothes on laundry day, and binge on chocolate.
All of those things are perfectly you.
You can work on improving yourself, and still feel like you’re okay today. That’s what life is all about. It’s okay to be a work in progress and a masterpiece at the same time. In fact, that’s who you are–it’s who we all are!
14. Self-care is essential for life…
Love is so essential, we die without it. Literally.
Self-love is just as important. And self-care is part of self-love. Some of us dismiss self-care as unimportant or too difficult. It takes too much time or is too expensive.
But the reality is that when we let self-care suffer, we suffer, too.
Self-care is essential to living your best life. You have to fill yourself in order to have anything to give–and that’s what self-care is all about. Taking care of you first so you can take care of others later. All of us have responsibilities that include other people. If you don’t love you, if you don’t take care of you, every relationship in your life will suffer.
It’s kind of like the oxygen mask on an airplane. Put your’s on first before you try to help someone else. There’s an important reason for that. If you don’t have any oxygen, you die–and you’re no good to anyone dead.
Without self-care, you die, too. Sometimes literally–always figuratively.
The truth is, self-care is so important, it should be part of your daily life.
15. The beauty and magic that resides within is just waiting to be released…
Have you ever gotten a glimpse of your very best self? Maybe you’re having a moment of reflection as you watch the sunrise. Or perhaps it happened when you were hugging your best friend. Maybe it was reflected back to you in the eyes of a child or spouse.
However it happened, you know it’s true–you just got a glimpse of heaven.
That is the person you really are!
You are not your gremlin. You are not your flaws. You are not your bad moods or your tantrums.
When you get in touch with yourself–your true self–you’ll want to take care of you. You’ll discover a well of unconditional love and the inner magic that’s been with you all along. You’ll see your infinite worth. You’ll start to believe in yourself and you’ll know who you really are, deep down inside, underneath all the labels and roles you carry.
That’s your goal. Keep taking care of you. Keep believing in yourself. And find your inner magic. It’s there just waiting to be found!