SANDRA JARVIS | PROFESSIONAL CERTIFIED COACH | INTERNATIONAL COACHING FEDERATION
Cor.E Energy | Certified Trauma Recovery | Certified Religious Recovery | Energy Leadership Index-Master Practitioner | Certified Wellness Coach | Certified Transitions Coach
Lessons Learned From Severing My Hand
“Do you trust me?”
Those are the words I said to Aubree, right before I unsuccessfully taught her to drift.
We were in a side-by-side Polaris RZR—both of us for the first time in our lives—and I wanted to spice things up. A few minutes earlier, I had successfully completed my first drift. Ever. So, of course, I was the perfect person to instruct my 14-year-old, unlicensed daughter on how to do the same (said with extreme sarcasm).
The correct answer to that question would have been, “No, Mom. No, I don’t!” But being the obedient and adventurous child she was, she nodded, then took off across the hot, sand-covered asphalt.
It didn’t end well…
…unless you consider a $65,000 life flight to the nearest trauma center a success.
Aubree followed my instructions exactly, but her maneuver ended with the RZR rolling across the sand and my right, dominant hand hanging by a thread…quite literally.
But something else happened that night. Something shifted in my brain. And frankly, I believe that shift saved my life.
When I climbed into the RZR, I was a bitter, angry, and depressed woman who hated and berated herself on a regular basis. Mine was a miserable existence!
But when I woke up the next morning after several hours of surgery, I was optimistic, hopeful, and willing to do whatever was necessary to reattach and repair my hand so I could live!
That was the day my life really began….
…and it has never been the same. Suddenly, my eyes were opened to the beauty and wonder of the world around me, things I’d previously been blind to because of the severe abuse of my childhood and a collection of other traumas that had piled up throughout my life.
For as long as I could remember, I’d been striving for perfection, only to come up short again and again. No matter how hard I tried, I wasn’t enough…and I feared I never would be.
But the accident was like an awakening. It forced me to look at life with a different perspective and to question the beliefs about myself that I’d always assumed were true.
It also forced me to take a good, hard look inside…
….and if I’m being honest, I didn’t like what I found. Despite the facade I’d always shown to the world, I was constantly battling an inner dialogue of horrible messages I never would have voiced out loud. I dubbed that voice my INNER MEAN GIRL and began the work of healing her and understanding the messages she had been sending me for as long as I could remember.
The next five years were a combination of “living hell” and “redemption.” (Can you have both at the same time?) While my physical energy was focused on healing my hand and arm, my mental energy was focused on uncovering and healing the wounds deep inside of me. And there were many.
Whatever happened in my brain that night worked in my favor. It wasn’t easy to examine the pain of my youth and the challenges I’d faced in recent years, but it felt empowering to do it with intention and purpose. And all that self-reflection led to the greatest discovery of all!
There’s nothing wrong with me…
there never was. In fact, I’m perfect exactly as I am today.
And as the days and weeks went by, it became apparent that I had the power to change my life completely. And It started with transforming my negative self-talk.
I also realized that I am the ultimate authority in my life. Little old me. That wasn’t what I’d been taught, but I could clearly see that it was TRUTH.
I could choose what I wanted to think. About myself. About others. About the world around me. No one could control my mind.
And the thoughts I chose seemed to impact my feelings significantly.
And my feelings were directly related to the amount of energy I had.
And my energy determined what I could accomplish throughout the day.
My mind was blown.
Seriously. How had I missed this?
I quickly discovered the key to healing both my physical body and the mental trauma that had held me back since childhood. It included a combination of guarding my brain against unwanted negativity while reconnecting and regulating my emotions—also known as mind-body integration.
Once I saw it, it seemed obvious. I lamented that the first forty-five years of my life were spent wallowing in pain and self-pity because I didn’t know I had a choice. I didn’t know I had the power to change my circumstances by changing what was happening inside of me.
Since the accident, I’ve used this knowledge and the tools that go with it to create resilience in the face of some difficult challenges. I used them when my child told me they were transgender. I used them when we were forced to declare bankruptcy and foreclose on our family home. I used them when I decided to walk away from religion. I used them to get through the pandemic. And I continue to use them in my life every day.
Despite the challenges, my life has never been better!
Because here’s the most important thing I learned…
You don’t have to be miserable!
You have the power inside of you to create whatever you want in your life. You can create a life of wealth and power. You can create a life of purpose and peace. You can create a life of humility and service.
It’s entirely up to you.
And it all starts with integrating your mind and body so you can heal from the inside out..
So if you’re ready to do something different…
If you’re ready to heal your inner mean girl and learn the truth about yourself…
If you’re ready to feel all the emotions that come with a life well lived.
If you’re ready to become the woman you were meant to be…
NOW IS THE TIME!
Let’s have a conversation to see if the tools I have to offer can help you create your best life.
WANT TO HEAR MORE OF MY STORY?
Grab my memoir on Amazon!
SEVERED
A MEMOIR OF HOPE AND HEALING
Born into a home marked by profound dysfunction, Sandra Jarvis struggles to overcome the messages ingrained throughout her childhood. I’m not worthy. I’m not loveable. I’ll never be enough. Then a tragic accident nearly severs her right hand. Although the damage to her hand brings an entirely new set of problems, it also gives Sandra an unexpected opportunity not only to recover, but to begin severing herself from the lies that have always ruled her life, the ones she’s told herself to prove she’s not enough. Severed: a Memoir of Hope and Healing is the powerful true story of finding hope and purpose amid life’s challenges. It proves that peace is available even in life’s darkest moments, perhaps even plentiful.