WHY ME?

It’s been about 20 years since I broke.

I woke up one morning and wished that I hadn’t.

I wanted to sink back into the dark abyss of sleep and never wake up.

I didn’t care about how my husband would feel…didn’t care that my children would grow up motherless. I just wanted it all to end. Fortunately, my husband cared….and helped me find the mental and emotional support I needed.

But if I told you it’s all been smooth sailing since then, I’d be lying. In fact, since that day, my life has been pretty difficult. And for a while, I wallowed in every difficult moment.

I often asked the question, “Why me?” I felt like a victim to life and didn’t see how it was ever going to get any better.

It took several years to regulate my medications to the point that I actually wanted to live again.

And then it happened.

I woke up one day and WANTED to get out of bed.

I got out of bed and WANTED to go outside.

I went outside and WANTED to hear the squeals of my children as they played in the yard. Even their bickering didn’t bother me!

I sat in my yard, weeding my flower garden and trimming my roses, and thought, “So this is what it feels like. This is what it feels like to want to live.”

THE CHALLENGE

In that moment, I made a promise to myself—that I would do whatever it took to figure out how to have that feeling every day. Peace was my companion that morning—and I craved more of it!

Through the years, I’ve done a lot of mental and emotional work on myself—individual counseling, group therapy, and a whole lot of coaching—are just a few of the methods I’ve employed! The thing I find most interesting of all is that the more work I do, the more work I uncover. Each time I think I’m done, I uncover another area that’s been lying dormant and is now ready for attention. It seems that healing from complex trauma is a lifelong endeavor!

But that’s okay!

I’m up for the challenge.

And I wouldn’t change the lessons I’ve learned along the way.

TRUE SUCCESS

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that success looks very different than how most of us define it.

Success is not making millions of dollars. It’s not becoming famous. It has nothing to do with your career or how many hours you work or the number of children you have or how successful they become. All of those things we often attribute to success have nothing to do with it, really.

True success is never dependent on things outside of you because you have no control over those things. That’s just society trying to keep you in line with its rules!

True success is learning to like yourself. It's taking care of your body. It's getting enough sleep. It's knowing your intentions and following up with action. It's learning that you alone are responsible for creating peace and finding purpose in your life. AND...it's knowing that you are 100% capable of creating a life that leaves you feeling fulfilled.

Life is full of opportunities. And you get to choose which ones will work for you.

Figuring that out might be a life-long process. But that’s okay…because you’ve got a lifetime to work on it!

Get to it!