Breaking the Chains of Generational Trauma

Before I even knew what it was, I was passionate about breaking the chains of generational trauma.

I wanted to be the one who figured out how to heal myself so I wouldn’t pass on the patterns of trauma and abuse that had existed in my family for over 100 years.

Later in life, I heard the term “chainbreaker”—and it resonated deeply with me.

👉 Are you a chainbreaker, too?

A Family History of Silence

I believe I was in my early 20s when I discovered that five generations of women in my family had been sexually abused.

I don’t remember exactly how I found out—because, to this day, no one talks about it.

But I do remember how angry I was.

It was clear to me that this pattern had to stop. This chain of trauma had to be broken. And I knew it wouldn’t come from the abusers—they would never willingly end it.

So I made a decision: I would be the one to break it.

The Reality of Being a Chainbreaker

The truth is, I had no idea what that actually meant.

I didn’t understand how deeply ingrained these patterns were—how they were woven into our DNA, our behaviors, and our beliefs.

Back then, research on generational trauma was nearly non-existent.

But that didn’t stop me from trying.

✔️ I sought therapy—even though my first therapist did more harm than good. At least I was trying.
✔️ I fiercely defended my children. More than one teacher lost their job because I refused to stay silent about mistreatment.
✔️ I spoke openly about my own abuse. It was uncharted territory. I made mistakes, and some of my efforts caused harm instead of healing. But I was doing my best.
✔️ I became a whistleblower in my family. It wasn’t a popular role, and I lost many relationships. But I knew that was the cost of being a chainbreaker.
✔️ I worked through my trauma—even as I endured new traumas, both physical and emotional. I refused to let the addictions and illnesses of the present stop me from healing the past.

The Science of Trauma and Determination to Heal

About ten years ago, I started educating myself on generational trauma.

When I learned that trauma can be passed down through DNA, my mind was blown.

How do you break the chains when they’re embedded in your genetic makeup?

That question only made me more determined to figure it out.

Did I Succeed?

My children are grown now.

They have relationships of their own—some with kids, some without.

Did I break the cycle?

❓ Some of my children would say yes.
❓ Others might feel differently.

But I know one thing for sure:

👉 I made progress.

And I opened the door for my children to continue breaking these chains—a legacy of healing they can pass down to their kids, too.

The Power of a Chainbreaker

As a young girl, all I ever wanted was a family where love was safe.

I wanted a home where:
💙 Abuse was a foreign concept.
💙 Love and connection were the foundation.
💙 Relationships were healthy, safe, and kind.

Did I do it perfectly? No.

But I changed the tide.

And today, I’m a proud mama watching my daughters parent their children with even more love, awareness, and healing than I ever could.

Are You Ready to Break the Cycle?

Are you a survivor who wants to stop the patterns of generational trauma—but you don’t know where to start?

💡 It starts with healing yourself first.

That is the most important thing you can do to make real, lasting changes in your family line. When you heal, you heal generations before and after you.

If you’re ready to leave the past in the past where it belongs, schedule a COMPLIMENTARY Self-Talk Assessment to see if coaching could be the next step in your healing journey. You don’t have to walk this road alone. In fact, you were never meant to!
💙 Much love to you on your journey.